Just a mere two posts ago(don't want to scroll? have a poor memory? click here!), I provided an info-graphic for y'all's viewing pleasure that represented how this great country exists in my mind. That is to say, America looks like a vast blank slate demarcated by vague geometric shapes,* and those geometric shapes tend to lack any identifying markers.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I am bad at geography.¹ This is despite having all of the mini-license plates that came in Post cereal boxes in the 90's, which I would arrange on the floor in the shape of the nation. It should be noted that this did not result in anything even vaguely resembling the shape of the country, but it had a dual benefit of teaching me all the state capitals. Knowing all the state capitals, in turn, gave me a great game to play last weekend while sitting with a friend drinking Rainier Beer (he was drinking Hamm's; it was like a cavalcade of poor domestic brews--a wholly different way to celebrate America). But despite leading to excellent bar games, this information has not helped develop my sense of geography.
I'm not a total dunce, however. I have been able to identify with clarity several states either by having spent time there in my cognizant life or because of their importance/prominence (or simply their proximity to things I know about, like Washington). Thus, the firmament of my knowledge looks something like this:
I left out New Jersey. Don't worry. It was on purpose.
I'd be willing to place some bets on that one next to Montana being North Dakota, which would make the one below it South Dakota.² Similarly, I'm fairly sure that near Wisconsin is Minnesota. The one to the right of Texas is Louisiana.
That's where things get fuzzy. My understanding shifts to this:
I know that the south has more to offer than grits and whiskey (like Sweet Tea!), and
the plains states have more to offer than corn (like...wheat.) Bear with me here as I
make generalizations for the sake of personal amusement.
As you can see, this excellent system solves the irritating problem of knowing where Missouri is, and also whether Arizona is on the left or right of the Tex-Mex Border Combo. What remains unclear is Ohio, and which parts are the Virginias/Carolinas. Also, the New England region is a little like the old England region to me, in that I know the biggest city in the region, and then vaguely understand that there are more places surrounding.³
What I figure, however, is that all of these problems will be solved as I journey from A to B. In my mind, the mere act of getting in a car and putting it on the open road automatically instills an encyclopedic˚ knowledge of geography and the political delineations we call "borders". I will understand, when I am in Wyoming, what it means to be in Wyoming: After all, Wyoming-ans/Wyomites/Wyomingians have to understand themselves as not-North Carolinians. Thus, by virtue of the alterity, I will understand where North Carolina is, and perhaps when I drive there, will understand which one is New Mexico and which Arizona.
Or maybe I'll look at a map.
Notes:
* Some of the shapes in the West are, of course, more geometric than those in the East, but I'm sure Euclid doesn't hold a grudge against the founders of the colonies. Too much.
¹ I'm bad at geometry, for that matter (just like the founding urban planners), but I know Euclid doesn't hold it against me because I remember who he is and those Greeks pretty much liked fame more than anything.
² Funny story: Though I've never really known where North and South Dakota are, as a child I was fairly convinced that they were the locations of Disneyland and Disneyworld, respectively.
³ Although in old England, I know more of the languages.
˚ Atlas-dic?
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