Navigatin' like Magellan.

So, the Pequod has been momentarily beached and deterred from the quest for the White Whale by end-of-term concerns like paper grading and laying in the sun (to counteract the horrors of paper grading).  I plan on resuming the journey soon, of course, because times are getting short.

In the meantime, however, I have continued thinking about possible routes for the trek (once I have the Whale in order).  It seems only appropriate to share a few of the options under consideration.

Option A: Google Says--The first comes directly from Google Maps, whose eternal concern is getting me from A to B as quickly as possible:

This route is economical, but takes me through a great deal of previously trodden land.  For instance, since I've experienced Chicago in the dead heat of late summer, I know that I could probably stand to avoid it. If I'm going to be drenched in sweat and afraid for my life, I'd rather it be in a new place I've never seen before.

Option B: Friend Says-- Another friend from grad school who has also trekked cross country, MR, suggested that taking a southern route in the summer would be...unpleasant.  He offered this as an alternative:

This route is similarly economical, and bypasses the dirty sauna that is a Chicago summer. The trouble with this path is twofold, however: first, I have traveled cross country by train (which I recommend heartily if you are ever alone and in need of four days of solid catharsis, but not at all otherwise), and have thus taken this particular Montana-Dakota-Minnesota-Wisconsin path twice. Second, a good portion of the trek isn't even in America, which sort of detracts from the "Great American Road Trip" ideal.

"But Ali," you say, "Canada is America too."

No. No it is not. I am not out for the "Great Continental Road Trip". I am interested in tearing up this great country of ours, not crossing borders or needing passports.  I'm lazy.  Also, in Canada, I imagine it is less kosher to holler "Amurrrrrrca!" while holding a corn dog in one hand and a Miller High Life in the other.

Option C: Technology Says-- This next option was calculated using that nifty website mentioned previously in this here chronicle: gasbuddy.com.

The route chosen here represents the lowest gas rates in the nation (Oregon and Idaho excepted).  It also makes a rather aesthetically pleasing smiley face across the land, and hits some elements of the plains-states and the south heretofore unexamined by our hero.  The downfall of this particular choice lies in the month of travel. Though I said above that I would rather be in a new sweatbox than one in which I'd already spent time, I would also like to not die of West Nile because of a stray mosquito bite in some swampland.*

Option D: Limited Experience Says-- An extension of the gas map idea is to drop south and see most of the states I've never seen before:

I like this one because it takes me through much uncharted territory and could finally clear up the whole New Mexico-Arizona problem I have (which one is which? Why aren't they just one state? Does everyone live in adobe huts or condos?). I could also sing "Oklahoma!", check out Austin's music scene, eat beignets in the French quarter, and stop by my former roommate's home in Georgia. Downsides include even more extreme heat (though maybe most of it would be dry heat?) and potentially getting eaten by an alligator.

Option E: Disregard for my alleged carbon footprint says-- DOWN WITH FOSSIL FUELS.

This route does everything!  It covers almost all the states, would kill the White Whale (maybe also a rental car), and makes an awesome zig-zag pattern on the map. Downsides include...well, look at it. It really only exists because I got out of hand in MSPaint.

These are all, of course, purely hypothetical. Much will depend on the weather, my copilot's proclivities (no one wants a cranky copilot in the car for 4-5 days), and whether or not the Whale ever gets into splashing form; a rental car will likely be used for the shortest period possible for economic reasons.  Also, anyone who suggests a particularly awesome sightseeing adventure will probably pique my interest greatly. I like giant rubber-band balls and corn mazes (maizes: ha!), and also places where I can buy taffy from barrels.

Now that I've thought about this, it's time to return to the Portland sunshine, which finally hit town in earnest this weekend.  Sum-sum-summertime, here we go.




Notes:
* I neither think that the south is all swampland nor that West Nile is still a major epidemic.  I'm pretty with the times, usually.