Dear Family, Friends, and Sympathizers:
This Summer, I will be leaving my beloved Portland for the Eastern shores, in order to get my PhD in English Literature at Fordham University in the Bronx. It will be 4-5 years of physical poverty in the pursuit of intellectual wealth, and hopefully at the end someone, somewhere will hire me.
Thus, this is my last summer of freedom, and because of this I am hoping to actualize my long-time dream of a Great American Road Trip (tm)--not merely for the fun of it, but to get my earthly possessions from the left side of the country to the right side.
This Summer, I will be leaving my beloved Portland for the Eastern shores, in order to get my PhD in English Literature at Fordham University in the Bronx. It will be 4-5 years of physical poverty in the pursuit of intellectual wealth, and hopefully at the end someone, somewhere will hire me.
Thus, this is my last summer of freedom, and because of this I am hoping to actualize my long-time dream of a Great American Road Trip (tm)--not merely for the fun of it, but to get my earthly possessions from the left side of the country to the right side.
Map Legend-- A: Where I am now. B: Where I need to be by August 20, 2010. Look at all those states!
Allow me to introduce to you my plan (in 10 easy steps!):
Step 1) Pack up my life into a million tiny boxes.
Step 2) Rent a car.
Step 3) Insert the boxes filled with essentials into a rental car.
Step 4) Insert trusty co-pilot into rental car.
Step 5) Insert myself into rental car.
Step 6) Drive, safely and leisurely-like, from the Portland-Metro area to the Tri-State area.
Step 1) Pack up my life into a million tiny boxes.
Step 2) Rent a car.
Step 3) Insert the boxes filled with essentials into a rental car.
Step 4) Insert trusty co-pilot into rental car.
Step 5) Insert myself into rental car.
Step 6) Drive, safely and leisurely-like, from the Portland-Metro area to the Tri-State area.
6a) See the sights I've never seen (read: most of them).
6b) Stay with friends who have scattered themselves across the nation.
6c) Take photographs of flatlands and mountains and busted up gas stations and the occasional deer.
6d) Send postcards (because postcards are part of the lost art of road trips)
6e) Eat regional foods (but not Rocky Mountain Oysters, because that’s just gross).
6b) Stay with friends who have scattered themselves across the nation.
6c) Take photographs of flatlands and mountains and busted up gas stations and the occasional deer.
6d) Send postcards (because postcards are part of the lost art of road trips)
6e) Eat regional foods (but not Rocky Mountain Oysters, because that’s just gross).
Step 7) Arrive in New York, and drive (very carefully) to the place where my belongings and I will be calling home.
Step 8) Settle in.
Step 9) Return Rental Car to an appropriate location.
Step 10) Start Learnin’.
Herein, dear reader, lies the pitch: relocation is expensive, and I a poor college instructor about to be an even poorer graduate student. The Road Trip option is not my cheapest option, but it is the only one that will allow me to both accomplish something I’ve always wanted to do (drive cross-country) and keep my belongings reliably safe. I therefore consider it my best option.
This announcement is thus kind of like a Jerry Lewis telethon on PBS: I am hereby humbly requesting donations in any amount to help subsidize the cost of moving from here to there in a safe and comfortable manner.
Step 8) Settle in.
Step 9) Return Rental Car to an appropriate location.
Step 10) Start Learnin’.
Herein, dear reader, lies the pitch: relocation is expensive, and I a poor college instructor about to be an even poorer graduate student. The Road Trip option is not my cheapest option, but it is the only one that will allow me to both accomplish something I’ve always wanted to do (drive cross-country) and keep my belongings reliably safe. I therefore consider it my best option.
This announcement is thus kind of like a Jerry Lewis telethon on PBS: I am hereby humbly requesting donations in any amount to help subsidize the cost of moving from here to there in a safe and comfortable manner.
Without snack funds, I may resort to cannibalism
There is no obligation or expectation in this fund drive. I will not, like NPR, guilt you for not subsidizing my endeavors. If however, you would like to make a donation to my cause, my thanks will know no bounds, and you will receive periodic updates from the road and a postcard from the middle of nowhere.☨
Should you be both interested and able regarding patronage for my journey, I have a PayPal button on this page that they tell me will ensure safe donation-making.
Well wishes may be submitted via email at ***********.com, via old-fashioned post at a physical address,° or via Good Vibes sent in my general direction.
I thank you for listening; operators are standing by to receive your communiques.
Love Always,
Ali B
Love Always,
Ali B
Notes:
* Actual distance may vary due to traffic, gas prices, and mpg of the rental car.
☨ Contingent upon receipt of your address. Requests for state/town of postcards and postmarks will be accepted and heartily considered, but not necessarily honored.
☨ Contingent upon receipt of your address. Requests for state/town of postcards and postmarks will be accepted and heartily considered, but not necessarily honored.
° Don't have my address? Email me, or become a follower of this here chronicle, and ye shall receive. I love getting mail, but I don't like getting strangers knocking on my door.
I Like it.
ReplyDeleteYou could try to get yourself on PayPal as a way of getting donations.
ReplyDeleteSara,
ReplyDeleteThat's an excellent idea! I shall research it right away.