The Cat Came Back, part 2.

In this whirlwind of lunacy that is my attempt to lure Cat back home, I have found myself enacting tactics that Wile E. Coyote would have engaged in.  Witness the following, which occurred after 9 hours of operation cat rescue yesterday (placing this at around 7 pm, and me at my wit's end):

Step One: After eating a hasty dinner of poorly made pancakes, I start to think..

My "thinking" face has often been mistaken for my 

"judging" face. 

Then, an idea!

The only way to tell I have ideas is to wait for the 

yellow light bulb. This applies in all situations.

I change my tactic, now to be less "Wile E. Coyote" and more "Guerrilla Sniper"*:

And that, dear reader, is me hiding in the bathroom. For three and a half hours.  I maintained this outpost until 10:30, when a round of fireworks went off outside that I immediately mistook for gunfire.¹ At that point, I panicked over the fact that the door was open, thus proving that in a real guerilla warfare situation I would probably be the kind of liability that gets shot by my own battalion.

It seems that crouching in a bathroom in complete silence for hours on end can make a person jumpy. This is a lesson I have now learned.

I have also learned that Cat's disdain for me is unparalleled, as she never turned up.  I have decided, thanks to two days in the breach and an email from her owner, that this qualifies as the "Old College Try", and I am giving up. I'll put out food, and leave opportunities for her to return, but no longer will I sit dependent on the whims of a creature that licks itself and cannot communicate with me.²

And so now I am free. The cat will survive, as cats do, and will almost certainly return as soon as my unwelcome presence is, well, no longer present. This calls for some cable television and a real meal.

Notes: 

* Except without the guns, jungles, and rampant rape, pillaging, and murder. So not really "Guerrilla Sniper" at all. But it sounds hardcore, so we'll stick to it.

¹ Because apparently, I also thought I was suddenly in an episode of "The Sopranos"

² Hopefully, there will never come a day when I find myself dependent on someone who can communicate with me but still chooses to lick him/herself, either.